Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Throwing All Expectations Out the Window

So much of our lives are made up of expectations. From how often to shower to what kind of job to seek, we probably don't even realize that expectations guide most of our actions and thus, our lives. Some of us are more guided by others' expectations and some of us, more by our own expectations.

People sometimes ask me whether my family's expectations pushed me to get a PhD or go through everything that I did. They expect that for me to push so hard, something external was pushing me. But it was always my own expectations. Where to live, what kinds of people to be friends with, and most of all, who to be.

Today, many of these standards for myself are out the window. Salary, status, and profession. I am a hospice social worker and day by day, I accept and greatly appreciate what I get to offer the world. I still have goals for my future, but I am OK with today - something that I never was before. Now, I deal more with the expectations of others, as I stopped being tunnel visioned by my own. My mother's, my husband's, my boss's, and my patients', to say the least. Something happened the other day and it was a wake up call for me. I realized that though I haven't allowed these expectations to change a whole lot, they have guided my mind, my way of thinking of certain things, my hesitations to do and be me. No longer will we allow this, and we can only fight the expectations by acknowledging and letting go of them.