Friday, September 8, 2017
In this last six months, I heeded this advice. More than anything else, I have followed my gut and not my head. I have acknowledged the people in my life that are no longer supportive when things get hard. I have jumped at my opportunities and refused to give in to fear. I have began my doctorate program, gotten divorced, helped as many people as I could, planned trips, and planned for the places and person I want to be with these decisions. I have spent time with the people I feel good around and those who truly seek to understand, rather than judge. And today, I can say that I am happy. I get stressed, anxious, scared, and angry, but I feel happiness more so than I have in the last decade. While I have never been slammed with so many curve balls in just one year, I bounce back after each one and still smile at the end of the day. I feel love and loved, and I feel passion for today and tomorrow.
So heed my second-hand advice to you: fuck the fear and any other thing that is stopping you, whether it be a person or job or responsibility. Work with the things you can't stop and shed the things that stop you. I warn you: it will be hard and so much won't feel good on the journey. You may not know yourself in six months. But it will be worth it. Be the person you want to be and not the person you think you are, or others think you are. Follow every good feeling and desire, and one day, you will go to bed and feel happy.
Do you believe in magic?
Sunday, July 9, 2017
Tuesday, May 9, 2017
Monday, March 13, 2017
I have discussed, in the past four years that I have been blogging, many changes that took place within me - specifically when I entered my PhD program, and again after I left it. The process and decision was the hardest by far I have had to make in this life, and it did change me forever. On the one hand, I am less judgmental, more open-minded, less focused on ego and success, and more focused on my relationships. On the other hand, I have less trust in my decision-making and more fear for making the wrong choices.
Not only do experiences change us, but so does time. Have you ever thought "what would I think of myself or my life if I looked from 4 years ago...or 4 weeks ago??!" Recently, I very much have. With age, experience, and time, sometimes we really do change. Sometimes, they are external changes (which we can all expect in life) that alters us internally. And sometimes, they are internal shifts and changes that may or may not permanently alter our outside world. Sometimes, our worlds just can't stay the same.
Monday, January 9, 2017
Sunday, November 13, 2016
This particular week in the United States is difficult. Many hearts are broken and devastated. We all have ups and downs in life, and this entire month needs to remind us that we never know when or what something is going to come crashing down on us. We do not know when the down is coming. For much of America, we must lick our wounds where a skewed people and unfair system made them.
It is important, no matter what the struggle, that we grieve fully and come back even harder at life. If we lost a fight, we must fight again. If we made the wrong decision, we must determine to find the right one. If someone died, we must heal. Even if it changes our lives forever, we must get back up and persevere.
Saturday, October 1, 2016
Hello! Family, friends, and whoever else, please help me raise some money for my volunteer trip to Brazil with IVHQ in 2017!
As many of you know, I love my job as a hospice social worker, and I love to travel! This trip and work will be different than any other I have done previously. This unique one-week trip is focused on volunteer work within the Rio de Janeiro area. The work will involve working with a different population and task each day, including: helping landscape a community garden, playing/teaching sports to local children, helping a local NGO with making garments and souvenirs out of scrap and recycled materials, giving English lessons to the local community, and helping a community sports project.
Money will be used for: flight, registration fees, program fees (which cover housing, food, and airport transfers), Visa fees, and vaccines.
There is no real goal! ANY donation is appreciated and contributes to this good cause, and I pay the rest!
Love to you all,